Unbelievable support

I am completely blown away by the support I've received, and I haven't even started treatment yet.  It's one of the things that keeps me going.  Thank you to everyone who has called, texted, messaged, sent fun gifts, sent chemo support items, sent cards, answered questions, posted encouraging things on my page, gotten a tattoo with me, gotten an ear piercing with me, and everything else.  Thank you friends and family!

Family photos

I have the most awesome best friend ever!  For a multitude of reasons... but today I want to sing her photography praises.  She came up and did these amazing family photos of us.  It's kinda hard to be on the other side of the camera.  But I let her work her magic and I just love them... and her!  We usually try to get a family shot for our annual Christmas card but this was a great "excuse" to have them done now.  And we caught the trees when they were still flowering which helped add to the awesomeness! 

© Sandi Petersen Photography

I have a port-a-cath!

I had to be at the hospital at 5:45 on the day of surgery.  Damn, that's early!  Surgery went well. We were home by 10am.  I was more sore in my shoulder than anything.  I think they had to position my right arm in a weird way during the surgery.

I'm glad to have this port so the nurses and lab techs don't have to keep poking my veins.  It should make chemo go a lot easier.

First appt with the oncologist

On April 5, 2018, I had my first appointment with an oncologist.  I saw Dr. Richa at the Oncology Center at St Joseph Hospital.  We had to be there 30 minutes early but they were running behind so we sat there for about an hour.  It was so strange sitting in the waiting room.  I feel (somewhat) young and healthy.  Everyone in the waiting room seemed so old and sick.  Would this be what I looked like after a few treatments?

We finally got in the exam room and met with Dr. Richa.  Andy and I both really liked him.  We asked a few questions.  Dr Richa went over my CT/PET scan results, which came back clear except for the breast and lymph nodes that we already knew about.  Whew!  I can't tell you what a relief that was.

The treatment plan he was recommending was exactly what I thought it would be.  I'd done some careful research and the plan was what I expected.  It would be 4-6 rounds of TCHP (harsh chemo)... I'm planning on just 4 rounds.  I'm an overachiever like that!  Each letter of the TCHP stands for a different medication.  Then I will need to do 10-12 rounds of just HP because I am triple positive.  After the harsh chemo, would come surgery.  Then radiation.

Dr Richa wants me to get a second opinion.  We will do that through UCSF.  And he'd like me to talk with a genetic counselor because one of the "breast cancer genes" BRCA2 came back with a mutation (a variant of unknown significance).  There's no evidence YET that this gene causes breast or ovarian cancer, but they are still studying it.

Something else that Dr. Richa suggested we look into is the Chemo Cold Caps which can help you keep your hair during treatment.  I thought you had to buy them at $5,000 a pop, but it turns out that you can rent them. We are looking into that.

We were able to tour the chemo infusion room.  It seemed so surreal.  It felt like I was there for someone else.  We were introduced to a couple of the nurses.  They said they'd schedule a chemo education appointment pretty soon.

Overall I felt like the appointment went well.  I'm just anxious to get on with this treatment and be done!

Is pink cliche?

My world has been inundated with pink.  Not just any pink color, but breast cancer pink.  Is it cliche?  Maybe.  I don't mind though.  It's my choice to be surrounded by pink.  Some ladies that have gone through BC are revolted by the color pink.  I get that.  We all cope in different ways. Pink is my fighting color.  

Shortly after my diagnosis, Abigail and I got matching ear piercings. It was her idea and she wanted us to have a pink stone on the jewelry.  Pink represents something- for this, it represented her support of my BC journey.  I'm glad we could do this one thing together.  It will always remind me of her support and wanting to be part of my battle.

I added another bit of pink to my body as part of my battle prep.  Sandi (my bestie) and I got matching tattoos.  It is a breast cancer ribbon connected to a heart.  I can't put into words how much it means to me that Sandi was willing to do this with me.  It was my first tattoo and it's on my right wrist so I see it a hundred times a day.  I love how it turned out.  After all the treatments are done, I plan to add a little something to it.

J.T. surprised us by ordering these pink BC bracelets.  He handed them out to our family and friends, and to some of his friends at school.  Warms my heart to think of him doing this.  Glad he's not afraid to wear pink!

CT/PET scan

Out of all the tests and procedures thus far, this one scared me the most.  The main point of the scan was to rule out cancer spread, beyond the lymph nodes.  It is too easy to let yourself go to a dark place and picture tumors everywhere in your body.  

The actual scan was easy.  I had to fast until after my 10 am appointment (the hardest part).  Once I got checked in, they checked my blood sugar and injected me with a radioactive sugar.  Then came the best part- I got to relax in a recliner (with a heated blanket!) for 30 minutes while the radioactive sugar did it's thing. After this, the tech had me lay down in the scan machine.  It was a slow scan- took 24 minutes but I just laid there the whole time.  Pretty relaxing, really.

I had an appointment with the oncologist the following afternoon so we asked for a "quick read" on the scan results.

Afterwards we went to grab a burger because I was starving! #eatbeef

Appt with the surgeon

I have breast cancer.  It’s still difficult to say out loud.  My appointment with Dr Kennedy was on March 20.  There were a couple reasons I liked the idea of going to see her.  First of all, she’s been through this BC journey herself.  In addition, I like that her office is in Fortuna.  Something about being closer to home makes it seem a little less rough.  

During the appointment with her, we mostly talked about the treatment plan.  She had a copy of the pathology report with showed my BC to be “triple positive” and pretty aggressive.  This means that it's estrogen-receptor positive, progesterone-receptor positive, and HER2 positive.  The tumor in the breast is approximately 1.5cm and the one in the lymph nodes is about 1.3cm, which puts me at Stage 2.  Because of the lymph node involvement, Dr Kennedy said I’d need chemo.  This was tougher to hear than the actual BC diagnosis.  Chemo scares the shit out of me.  She said 4-6 rounds of harsh chemo, then 10-12 rounds of much less harsh chemo— with lumpectomy and radiation mixed in there too.  It would be about a year long for all the treatments.  I really prefer to do lumpectomy rather than a mastectomy.  

Another thing we did at the appointment was genetic testing (saliva based) to see if I carry the gene mutations that can cause cancer. Those results take 3-4 weeks.  She also ordered a CT/PET scan to rule out any cancer spread beyond the lymph nodes.

She said it normally takes 3-4 weeks to get all the testing done, port insertion surgery done, and insurance approval before we can start chemo.  That would be put us right about the time we would be going to Anaheim for the FFA State Conference so we decided to get chemo scheduled for end of April, beginning of May.  Because it would be about 6 weeks, she suggested starting me on a drug called Tamoxifen.  It should stop any tumor growth and it is something I’ll have to be on for about 10 years after treatment is done.

I found a lump

I found a lump.  It’s in my left breast on the armpit side.  I don’t remember the exact day I found it but it was in late February 2018.  It was kind of weird how I found it.  I had some pain in my left armpit so I was feeling around trying to figure what was causing it.  That’s when I felt the lump.  

I’d had a couple lumps before over the past 10 years.  I even had an ultrasound for one, and it turned out to be nothing.  The midwife in my gyno office said I probably had fibrocystic tissue.  I already knew I had dense breasts.  When I had my very first mammogram about a week after I turned 40, they called me back in for more images because of the dense tissue.  At the time, I didn’t know that dense breasts increase your chances for breast cancer. 

After finding the lump, I made an appointment with my doctor.  The appointment was March 2.  At that appointment, she said I needed to get a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound at St. Joe’s Imaging Center.  That was scheduled for the next week, on March 6.  Andy went with me that day and I’m so glad he did.  I went into that appointment with a pretty good attitude.  We even talked about that the worst they could tell me was that I needed a biopsy.  The ultrasound showed a suspicious mass in my armpit lymph node area, as well as the breast. Even though we’d talked about me possibly needing a biopsy, I still had a hard time hearing the radiologist say it.  The lymph nodes really scared me.  

The soonest they had an open biopsy appointment was March 27.... 3 weeks away.  And it still had to go through the proper channels- radiology report back to my doctor, the doctor ordering the biopsy, waiting for the scheduling department to call me. I was so frustrated!  I had a little extra help and intervention by a couple people to get the biopsy fast-tracked.  We were able to get the appointment scheduled for March 14... four days before my 43rd birthday.  Andy came with me to the appointment but he couldn’t come in the biopsy room with me.  They numbed me up and took several samples from each location.  They also insterted these metal clips (markers) to show where the tumors were.  After that, they did a gentle mammogram to make sure the clips were in the right spots.  Then they wrapped me up, ice packs and all, and I went on my way.  We did get to talk with the radiologist before we left.  He didn’t come out and say it was cancer, but he didn’t really need to.  He said I’d be having surgery at some point to remove the lumps.  He said the pathology report usually takes 3-5 days to come back.  Right after this, we started the process of getting an appointment with a surgeon, Dr. Cass Kennedy.  The appointment was for March 20 at 4:40pm.

I didn’t expect to hear anything before the weekend (biopsy was on a Wednesday) and I really didn’t want to hear before my birthday (Sunday) anyway.  It wasn’t up to me though.  On Thursday afternoon, my doctors office called and said Dr Proudfoot wanted me to come in the next day, Friday at 9am.  She apparently had some preliminary results back.  At that point, I knew.  I think I knew during the ultrasound.  Andy and I went to the appointment on Friday morning. At first I was upset I had to wait overnight to know for sure, but now looking back, I’m kind of glad. It gave me the chance to prepare myself so when the doctor said it out loud, it wasn’t a shock.  On Friday, March 16, 2018, I found out I have breast cancer.